Forgive Yourself
“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.”
I was participating in a Women’s Truth group at the beginning of the year. Everyone in the group was seeking to live and speak our truth more boldly and authentically in some way. Near the end of our time together I hit a wall … I was experiencing a lot of anger I couldn’t explain.
Serendipitously, one morning I came upon this image:
I broke down in tears. I understood that the person I was really angry at was myself.
I cried for all the ways I had felt I needed to make myself small, for all the ways I’d felt I couldn’t speak up, for all the ways I felt I “should” be that were not aligned with my Truth.
So I sat down and wrote myself a letter.
I sat down and I cried and I forgave.
Maybe today you can forgive yourself, too … even just a little. For being who you needed to be at the time. For doing the best you could with what you had.
A LETTER TO ME:
Hi.
Wow, it’s so nice to see you … really see you.
We’ve been through so much together.
It’s hard to say this …
I just need to say …
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for all the times I shut you down.
I’m sorry for all the times I told you you weren’t good enough.
I’m sorry for all the times I made you feel bad or wrong for wanting what you wanted.
I’m sorry for talking over you with “socially acceptable” words instead of just letting you speak the truth of what you had to say.
I’m sorry for all the times I let other people treat you in a way that was unacceptable, that diminished your beauty and your power, and I did not say a damn thing.
I’m sorry for all the times I told you that you needed to fit in.
I’m sorry for all the times I made you play it safe.
I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t honor your boldness, your creativity, your excitement, your zest for life –
I let fear get the best of me, and I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t let you feel … really feel … I told you that you were “too big” … you’re not. You’re just big enough. The world needs some Big right now. I made you small … and I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for all the times I made you feel unworthy.
I’m sorry for all the times I let other people’s opinions matter more than yours.
I’m sorry for all the times I told you no … I’m going to start saying “yes” to you much more now.
I’m sorry for all the things I told you you couldn’t do – you can do anything, my dear. ANYTHING. I know it now.
I’m sorry for any time I diminished your shine … I was scared of getting hurt if you shone too bright.
I’m sorry for all the times I told you to defer to someone else about what was right for you … only YOU can know that. I see it now. I will never ask you to give your power away again.
I was hurt and scared. I didn’t mean it. But I can see that in trying to keep us safe, I transferred my hurt and fear to you … and for that, I am the most sorry.
I love you.
You are perfect just as you are.
Everything we have done up until now has been one chapter of a bigger story.
I want to write a new chapter with you.
I want to hand you the pen, let you be the author of the next part of our story.
Will you take it?
Oh, what a beautiful, powerful, adventurous, life-changing story it will be …
Write, my darling.
Shine bright.
Show me how it’s done.
It is your nature to lead …
Shine on!